Richard's Mood Swings
by B. Alex Burke
Summary: Sorry you guys. It's discontinued. I justcan't think of how to end it. Again, I'm sorry.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For those of you whom have been patiently waiting for "Gilmore Secrets" to return, I have bad news. The computer it was on has crashed. whinces...opens one eye causiously I'm so sorry! I was defraging it, and it crashed. (I'll never defrag another computer as long as I live!) Remember "The Bracebridge Dinner"? Well, Emily said Richard had been happy for the past two days. I was wondering what happened, and a story popped in my head! Emily POV, (as always) Enjoy!

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Richard woke up this morning in a huff. He mummbled something in the bathroom while I was taking a shower, but I had soap in my ears so I couldn't hear. He nearly choaked himself when he tried to tie his tie, and slammed the door on the way out. I don't know exactally what's going on at that office, but it's not looking to good.

I'm sitting on the patio, enjoying the day when I hear a car drive into the garage. I walk over so I can see who it is, and hear the unmistakable whistle of my husband. He's whistling? And he's home early? Something must've happened for his mood to have lightened this much. I walk back inside and meet him at the door. "There you are!" He says putting his briefcase on the table, and pulling me into a tight hug.

"Richard, what are you doing home?" I say as he leeds us into the living room.

"I...um...I got the rest of the week off. Want some scotch?" He walks over to the drink cart and starts pouring himself a glass of scotch.

"Sure..." He's acting so wierd. Oh, well. At least he's happy. No complants from me.

"Something smell good. What is it?" Richard starts sniffing around like a dog.

"Richard, what are you doing?" He's getting a little closer, still sniffing like a dog.

"Something smells good. Ah...I think I found it." Richard's giving me that 'Mmmm...You're sexy' look

"Richard...What are you doing?" He's sitting next to me, stroking my cheek. "Honey, what's up?"

"You should take your hair down. It looks better that way." Richard starts taking my hair down and running his fingers through it.

"Richard, did you accedentaly take your little blue pill? You know, the little blue triangle?" Suddenly, he swoops down, and crushes his lips to mine. I yelp at first, but I relax into the kiss. I love the way he kisses me. So passionate, but...tender. I put my hands around his neck, fondling his hair. He pulls me close, and puts his fingers in my hair. _Oh shit. I need air._ I try to put away, but Richard pulls me back. _I can't breathe!_ I push Richard off me, and try to catch my breath.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" He has way better lung capasity than me.

"Yeah...Just...couldn't breathe. Oh my God, your lung capasity 's gotten better over the years."

"Sweets, you gonna be alright?" He puts his hand on my back and rubbed it in little circles.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Next time I pull away, you're gonna hav to let me breathe. I'm not the one with the better lungs." He gives me a quick smile, scoops me up in his arms, and carries me upstairs. Once we're in our bedroom, he sets me down on the bed and closes the door.

"Richard," I say quietly, "what's has gotten into you?"

"Nothing's gotten into me, but I was hoping I could get into you." He gives me his look, and starts taking of his tie and shirt.

"Richard Allen Charles Michael Gilmore!"

"Yes, Emily Anne Louisa Renee?" He kicks off his shoes.

"You're terrible!"

"Well, thanks for the self-esteem boost!" He starts taking off his pants.

"Oh, you know what I meant, you..." I'm cut off by Richard's sweet lips capturing mine. We break the kiss shortly after it began, and Richard realizes I'm still dressed.

"Emily, my dear, this isn't going to work. You need to loose something, if not everything." Richard starts unbuttoning my blouse, as well as attempting to get my skirt off.

"Sweetie," I take his hand off my skirt, "I'll get the bottom, if you get the top."

"I can live with that." Ricard starts unbuttoning like this would be our last time, and we only had 15 minutes together. He finally gets my blouse off, (because stopping and swearing at it doesn't work), and gets to my bra. He's never been talented with the clasps, but this time he seems to manage. "Hey, Richard! That's a good bra!" I say as he throughs it across the room. (It barely missed the fire.)

"Yes, My Dear, it is. However, it's even better when it's off of you." He tenderly place kisses along my neck and shoulders, and continues his way down. When he reaches my abdomen, Richard flips me over, so now I'm on top.

"Gentle, baby. My old bak can't handle much of that." I say as he sucks gently on my neck.

"Your back is everything but old. You barely in your 60s, and that is not old." He looks up into my eyes, and I stare into his deep blue ones. "You're beautiful, you know that?" He looks down, and sees that he still has on boxers and I still have on my underwear. "Hmm..This isn't working out like I wanted it to." I can feel his...um...desire, pressing into my leg. "I can feel that."

"Now who's being the naughty one?" he says as he pats my behind playfully.

"Hmm...I guess that's me, isn't it?" I smile at him, and he just laughs.

"Oh, come here, you naughty Conneticut woman!" The phase 'Just Do It' takes on a whole new meaning, as Lorelai would say.

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**A/N 2: Yeah...It's a tad lemony. Ok, it's a lot of lemonade, but it's Pink Floyd's fault! He's depressing. (Did you know his real name is David Gilmore?) I promiss to update soon. I think this'll have three to five chapters. Reviews and reviewers are ALWAYS loved:-P**

**Branda**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed! It's great to know what my readers are thinking. Also in the line for thanks, Talula, my little muse. (You know who you are!) You really help. Don't forget to review:-P

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Ugh...What time is it? I open my eyes to find myself wrapped in Richard's embrace, my back to him. The events of the night come flooding back to me. "Oh...wow." I say while trying to focus on the clock. It's 10:30. When was the last time I was in bed at 10:30?

"Good morning, Emmy." Richard squeezes me closer to him and kisses my cheek.

"Morning, Sugar." I turn my head and kiss him back. "It's 10:30. I think we should get up." I try to get up, but Richard pulls me back against him.

"Not now, Emmy. Savor the moment." Richard says as he rolls me over. "Please?"

"Alright. We'll stay in bed. May I remind you that we have no clothes on?"

"I know. I don't particularly care. After all, we have a daughter, and those things don't happen on there own." He smiles, and says, "Oh, and no."

Huh? "No what?" I ask.

"No, I didn't take my little blue pill. I haven't needed one in...Hmm. I don't know. It's been a long time. I don't even think the prescription's good anymore. But the way you moaned last night, I don't think I'll need them for a while."

"Richard! I didn't moan." I retort.

"If that _wasn't_ moaning, then what was it?" He just pulls me tighter to him.

"It was...whimpering." I don't think that'll do it.

"Whimpering? Emily, please. Whimpering wouldn't have concerned the maid! That was _moaning_. And quite a sexy moan at that." With that, he squeezes my ass.

"Richard! What has gotten into...What's making you act like this?" I wasn't about to say that again.

"What is this? Are you complaining?" He looks at me with wide, playful eyes.

"No! God, no. I'm _certainly_ _not_ complaining. I'm just curious, because I want it to happen more often, if at all possible." I give him a quick wink and kiss him. As it gets more passionate, I moan into Richard's mouth. I absolutely love the way he kisses. It's so...intoxicating. I put my hands on the back of Richard's head and play with his hair. There's a knock at the door. _Damn!_ We get up, Richard goes to the bathroom, and I get robe on before answering the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb, but your daughter is on the phone." Katrina says with wide eyes.

"Thank you, Katrina. We'll call you if we need you." I close the door, and strip from the robe. I see the hold button flashing, so I press it, then hold the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. Are you busy, because the maid said she would be interrupting something?" Lorelai says on the other end. I can hear commotion behind her, and Michel shouting in French.

"No, we, I mean, _I_ wasn't busy." I lie through my teeth.

"We? Who's...OH MY GOD! EEW! I didn't mean to interrupt _that!_ Gees!"

"Lorelai, what do you want?" It's better than beating around the bush.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I called to invite you to the Independence Inn's...uh... Look, I'm inviting you and Dad to come stay the night at the inn. The whole place is booked, and the original group got snowed in somewhere in Chicago. The rest of Stars Hollow is coming, too."

"Alright. Let me ask you father. Hold on." I hit the hold button and walk into the bathroom. "Richard, Lorelai wants to--Oh my God! Sweetie, thank you!" Richard's drawn a bubble bath, and is awaiting me.

"Lorelai wants to what?" I can see he wasn't expecting the mention of our daughter when I walked in to see our bath.

"She invited us to the inn because they're having a get-together. It's an over-night thing. Are we going?" I really want to go and he can tell.

"When is it?" He smiles at me.

"It's...Let me find out." I hit the hold button again, and once again I hold the phone to my ear. "Lorelai? Are you still there?"

"I'm here, Mom." she replies from the other end.

"When is it?"

"You're coming?"

"Yes, we're coming. Why else..." I really don't want to fight right now. "When is it?"

"It's this weekend. Sorry about the short notice. I only found out two days ago that the Bracebridge party was snowed in."

"It's alright. So...Just pack for one night?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah. One night. We've got everything any other inn has. Be here by 6 on Friday. Dinner's at 8." I hear Michel scream, and a woman yelp. "Mom-"

"Bye, Lorelai."

"Thanks. Bye." I hang up, and get in he tub. Richard turns on the jets, and they massage the small amount of tension in my back. "Mmm...This is nice, Richard." I move closer to him.

"I'm glad you like it, Sweets." he answers while pulling me into his lap. He starts massaging my shoulders and kisses my neck. "That any better?"

"Mmm...Loads better." I moan a little as he works his way down my back. Not wanting him to be left out of the wonderful massages, I stop him, kneel behind him in the tub, and start my massage.

"Ooh...Emily. You sure are talented with those hands." Richard says, and leans into my massage. He's so tense. Probably work. I'm still working the kinks away when the heater comes on. Normally, it's a jet of hot air coming from the vents, but this time it's freezing. And it blows right on my toosh! "Yipe!" I yelp as I splash back into the water.

"What? What happened?" Richard pulls me into a close embrace.

"The air conditioning is on! The vent was right under my..." I can feel my cheeks as they turn as crimson as Harvard's team.

"Oh, Sweetie." Richard places a hand on my bottom, and pulls me into his lap, "You are a bit chilly." He kisses my neck again, and moves his way back up to my lips. He's such a sweetheart. Always worrying about me. I think I'm glad the vent is where it is.

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**A/N 2: Tad bit lemony-er than I anticipated, but...I think it's still good. Blame the writers' block! (Finally found my chisel and my muse.)**

**Branda**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This is the night of the Bracebridge Dinner. I'll leave out the actual dinner, but I'll include the WHOLE sleigh ride. (I didn't think there was enough of their ride in the episode). ENJOY!

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"Emily, are you ready to go?" Richard yells from downstaris.

_Why would I be ready to go two hours early? _"Not yet, Sweetie. We don't have to be there until 6. We've got two hours." I yell as I walk out of my dressing room. I have on a nice black dress suit, gold trimed top. Richard is the most impatient person in the wold some days.

"I beg to differ, My Dear. We have thirty minutes. Look at the time." I hear him walking up stairs. Actually, it sounds more like a run. I look over at the clock. He's right! It's 5:30! I put the rest of my toletries and such in my bathroom box, click the latch, and run downstairs. The rest of our bags are already in the car. Richard walks out after me, gets in the car, and dives off.

"Now, isn't that a pretty site?" Richard says, pointing to the sky while driving.

"Yes...It is. Richard, I would prefer you keeping **both** hands on the wheel while driving." I say as he put his hand on my knee, and runs it up my thigh.

"Sorry, My Dear. I just wanted to touch you. You feel absolutely incredible." He puts his hand back on the wheel, and a harsh silence falls between us.

"You know," I say, "I don't mind your touching, but not in the car. I don't want to cause an accident." That was a terrible pun. **(For those of you who didn't get it..well then ok.)** I put my hand on his leg. I feel his leg muscles tense. "Uh...Emily. If you don't want to cause an accident, I...I sugest you move you hand, Dear." I can see Richard straining to fight the urge to kiss me sensless. "Alright. We're almost there, anyway." I remove my hand from his thigh, and I can see him relax. "Thank you, Emmy."

"You're welcome...Richy." I say, thinking back on the first years of our marrige.

"You haven't said that in a long time." Rihcard says while pulling into the parking lot at the inn.

"No, I haven't. Let's get inside before I freeze to death." I pull my on coat.

"We can't have that. Now can we?" Richard swings around, and helps me out of the car. I go to get my bags, but he stops me. "No, no. I'll get them."

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"I'll, uh, see you in a bit." Richard says as he walks to our room. Lorelai and Rory watch him go, then turn back to me.

"What got into him?" Lorelai askes with a broad smile on her face.

"He's totally different." Rory puts in her two cents.

"I know. He's been like that for two days. I have no idea why, but I'm taking the credit." I say, then walk to the room. The door's closed, and has the "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging on it. I knock, just to be on the safe side. "Who is it?" I hear him yell. "Can't you read a...Oh, just the person I was looking for." he says after opening the door. He has the goofiest smile on his face.

"Richard, you look--oof!" He pulls me inside, shuts and locks the door, and pulls me into a warm kiss. _What has him in this kind of mood all the time?_ I wonder as he deepens the kiss. Our tounges gently dance about in each other's mouths. I know exactally where this is going. It's always been the same thing for the past two days. I honestly have **no** idea what got him into this mood, but I hope he doesn't leave it soon. I'm running out of oxygen sooner than I hoped. I try to pull away, but he won't let me. _I thought he learned his lesson?_ There's only two things that'll help me now: kicking him between the legs, or biting his tounge. I go with the latter. I lightly bit his tounge, not wanting to cause damage, just to get it out of my mouth.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Richard askes while sticking out his tounge.

"I couldn't breathe. I tried to, but you wouldn't let me. You know, Richard, you're going to be the death of me one day." I say in a mock mad tone.

"Oh, now. You shouldn't say that. I certainly will not be the death of you. I do believe, if I'm not being too pompous, that I'm the life of you." He tickles me side, and I burst into a fit of giggles. Richard latches onto my waist with one arm, making it impossible for me to get away from him and his ticlikng.

"Rich...AH!" We fall back on the bed, him tickling me all the while. "Richy! Please! I'm having trouble breath-AH!" I fall off of the bed in my attempts to get from his tickling torture.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" He says, leaning over the side of the bed that a fell off of.

"I'm fine. Oh my God! Richard, I couldn't breathe." I get up, and wrap my arms around my sides. "I think I bruised a rib." I lie down nest to Richard. He pulls me close, and tries to move my arms from my sides. "Oh no you don't, Richard Allen Charles Michel Gilmore!"

"I'm not trying to tickle you, Emily Anne Louisa Renee Gilmore. I judt want to take a look at you ribs. Here." He puts his hands behind his back. "Now can I take a look?"

"I guess." I unbutton my blouse, and throw it on the floor. Richard leans over to 'examine' my ribs, and blows cool air on my side. "Richard!" I slap him playfully on his back.

"Sorry, My Love. I couldn't resist." He gently rolls me over with his...head? Did he just roll me over with his **head?** Anyways, I'm lying on my stomach, and Richard does the same thing he did with my right side that he did my left. I swat at him, but he catches my wrist. "Ah ah ah...No need to hit the infatuated husband."

"Infatuated, eh? I'll show you infatuated." I roll over on top of him, and kiss him passionatly.

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"Except me, 'cause I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss a chance to ride in a horse-drawn sleigh. Come on." Lorelai announces as Richard and I mingle in the lobby.

"Now, Emily, isn't this wonderful?" Richard places his hand of the mall of my back, and we walk outside.

"It's terrific." _God, I hate snow. It's terrible for my hair!_ I think as Richard helps me into the sleigh.

"Are you two ready to go, sir?" The driver politely asks.

"Yes, indeed." Richard replies, and places the fur blanket on our legs. I snuggle into his embrace. I only move out of it to sneeze. Richard hands me his handkerchief, and I wipe my nose. "Here you go." I say as I hand it back.

"Oh, no. You can keep it." Richard answers teasingly.

"You." I slap him playfully on the chest. He takes his handkerchief, folds it, and puts it back into his pocket.

"I wish Lorelai had warned us about this."

"What? This is wonderful." Richard looks around cheerfully.

"It's wreaking havoc with my hair."

"Oh, this isn't bad for your hair, compaired to the other thing."

Huh?

"What other thing?" Richard puts his hand behind my head, and toudles my hair. "Richard, stop it. Stop it! Suddenly you're two years old!" Wait. That didn't come out right. He most certainly shouldn't have been thinking about sex when he was two.

"I'm just having fun." Richard's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'm not complaining" I say as I lean over closer to Richard.

"This is fun, too. Like a roler coaster." He's as giddy as a school boy.

"A little."

"Say, when was the last time we were on a roler coaster?"

WHAT?

"Never."

"Ddin't we ever go to Coney Island?"

Uh...no.

"That must've been your other wife."

"Gosh, I used to love it when I was a kid. They were a lot faster then, too."

"And less safe."

"We should go on one."

"What?" Are you mad?

"A fast one."

"Fine. You go, and I'll hold your cotton candy for you."

He looks over at me and smiles. "You are going."

"It'll take a whole day." There's NO way you're getting me on one of those things. That's simply out of the question.

"You are going."

"I'd be scared." That'll make him stop-me.

I'll hold your hand." Richard takes my hand in his, and we wrap our fingers together.

"Fine. We'll go on a roler coaster. Now where is this roler coaster we're going on?"

"I don't know. I'll have Rory look it up on the Internet" He gently pats my arm, and we sit in silence for a little while.

"Richard?" I break the silence.

"Yes, My Love?"

"Have I told you haw much I love you today?"

"No, but I think you showed me once or twice." he says with one of his sly smiles.

"Oh, you!" I gently slap him on the arm. Richard puts his EXTREMELY cold gloved hand on the back of my neck, pulld me close, and kisses me sensless.

"Ahem...Excuse me. I'm sorry to interupt, but we've arrived." The drivers words makes us break the kiss.

"Oh, so we are." Richard says as he helps me out of the sleigh. We walk inside, and Richard pulls me over to a dim corner by the door.

"Rich--" I try to say before he passionatly kisses me. I relax into the kiss, and as his hands travel over my bum, I push away lightly.

"Out of breath already, My Dear?" Richard still has a firm grip on my backside.

"No. There are fifty other people in this room besides us." I pull his hands back up to the small of my back.

"And if I remember correctly," he says as he slides his hands back down, "there were about 100 other people in the room with us when we got married, and I still got to grab you ass." Before I get the chance to answer, Richard's back to sucking gently on my lips while our tongues play games of love.

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**Author's Note: Ok...I didn't get to the dinner, but I will! I'm just giving you an update before the writers' block can take over. Talula is looking for my chisel, so don't worry. lol I'm listening to my Pink Floyd, so it's still going to be a tad bit tangy. I can't find my Lynard Skynard, so I'm stuck wih The Eagles, The BeeGees, Pink Floyd, and classical. Don't forget to use the REALLY pretty shinny button that makes the review box pop up. You're on your own from there. I can't put words in your mouths.**

**Branda**


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